Childhood Memories

I don't seem to remember much about my childhood but there are a few things I think I do remember. I spent 10 years of my life living on a little piece of property in Ogden, Utah (Wilson Lane) with my parents, sister G and brother JG. We had a couple cows and bulls, rabbits, geese, a ton of cats (at least it seem like a ton) and my favorite, sheep.

As kids we used to help dad put the rubber bands around the babies tails so that they would fall off. When they did, we went around and picked them up. I had my very own sheep. She was a white faced ewe named Susie. Sometimes we were able to feed the lambs with bottles. I remember they seemed pretty strong for little sheep.

One buck sheep we had was a mean dude. For some reason he didn't care too much for the color green. He pretty much chased anyone but especially anyone wearing green. Many attempts were made to deter his ramming. One time he even received a pitch fork to the forehead. That didn't stop him. I can't remember what happened to him.

The geese liked to chase people as well. And Oh! the smell of rotten geese eggs. Yuck!!! Never did get used to that smell. Cattle I can handle, not rotten eggs.

I remember going camping, fishing and deer hunting every year. We would pack up the trailer and head up with family and friends to the Uintah Mountains. Rainbow Trout is what we caught. I can remember in the fall during the deer hunt waking up early in the morning and feeling the cold, wet air outside. Dad was long gone by the time I got up and it sure seemed early.

We used to go up the mountains for a day and cut our own firewood with friends. Two or three big trucks and/or trailers to fill. I don't know for sure if all of us kids that were there were much help. I remember working harder at taking breaks and find bugs than actually stacking the wood in the vehicles.

Dad taught me how to fish. Dad taught me how to shoot a bow and arrow, ride a motorcycle, ride a pony (we always had a pony), catch a water snake and much, much more. Dad did everything and I loved to watch and learn.

I feel guilty sometimes because KD has never been able to experience the things that I did during my childhood. My kids haven't had the opportunity yet and I don't know if they will. As much as I desire for them to experience it, things just don't seem as easy as they were back then. Of course, I was only a child and I'm sure dad and mom didn't think things were that easy but they always made sure it happened.

We moved to the state of Washington when I was 11 years old. We didn't have the room for big animals, just our dog, Duffy, and a cat. It was a small town and a nice place to live but we didn't go camping like we used. Things were different.

I haven't seen the house on Wilson Lane for years. I often wonder if it looks the same. I wonder if it still has the great big garage that dad built with the concrete floor that my sister and I were going to make into a roller skating rink. Does it still have the slabs of concrete where G, myself and a friend decided to use one of mom pots to build our own camp fire one night. Or, does it still have the great little play house in the back yard that dad built for us.

I've recently learned of some adventures that my father had as a young man. Things I never, ever dreamed my dad would do. Things my dad won't admit to even now. These are stories that mom tells me about that she knows of first hand or hears when dad gets together with his old buddies and they reminisce. I've come to realize that I need to share my childhood with my children. I've never been one who is really good at keeping a journal or diary and now I wish I were.

MMMOOOMMM!!!

I have to admit I get a little tired of hearing that word. I have threatened several times to change my name although I'm not sure what good that would do. I often reflect on my life before I was married and before I had children. Does that make me a bad person? I don't think so. I believe everyone, at some point, wishes they could go back in time. On days like today when I am not feeling well, it is raining outside and the kids just can't seem to keep their hands off of each other, I wish I were back in Washington sitting on the beach along the Columbia River doing absolutely nothing.


Ironically, back then I remember being in my 20's, single and wishing I had a husband and we had our own family.


I married when I was 30 years old. Z was born when I was 31. I am now 38 and a mother of four boys. Honestly, four boys that I couldn't imagine my life without. I know I take for granted every day the wonderful reality that I get to wake up each morning and hear, "Mom, I'm hungry." Several times I get to hear from A, "Know what mom, I love you." When Z and KT get home from school they always ask, "How was your day mom." And from B each night, "Rock, rock mama."


All it takes is a few minutes of reflection for me to admit that I really do love to hear MMMOOOMMM!!!

Blessed beyond comprehension

Today a friend at work showed me her blog. She assured me that it was something simple that even I could do. I was anxious to get started as I wanted to share. Thank you JT.

I have been reading several blogs tonight and realize that there are a lot of amazing people out there that I don't personally know but am grateful for their courage in sharing their experiences. I feel blessed in so many ways right now and have come to realize that I take a lot for granted.

My husband, KD, is legally blind. He has been this way since birth. He was born with congenital cataracts which were removed when he was a child. We have been married since August 2000. I'm amazed each day by his determination to be independent and not rely so much on others. In 2005 KD had his right eye removed after years of pain. This has not stopped him from finding a great job and being successful in it. He is also going to college and finally finding success after several attempts. For KD the college experience isn't like that you and I may have or will experience. In order for him to take notes, complete assignments and take tests he needs assistance. This assistance may be in the form of large print, audio, actual individuals who volunteer to read and scribe for him. It has been frustrating but he is pushing on and doing quite well.

KD and I have been blessed with four beautiful boys. Z, KT, A and B. Before Z was born we knew there was a 50/50 chance that any and possibly all of our children could be born with an eye condition that would categorize them as legally blind.

In March 2001 Z was born. Almost immediately we knew he had cataracts. At two months old those cataracts were removed and he was given glasses to wear. At the age of three Z began to attend school at the Utah School for the Deaf and Blind. He attended two years of preschool and Kindergarten at USDB. When it was time for him to start first grade we decided to mainstream him to public school. He is your typical 7 year old. He is doing very well in school and does not let his disABILITY hinder him in anyway.

We were blessed with KT in April of 2002. KT does not, to this point, have any eye conditions that cause him to have abnormal vision. He is 6 years old and doing well in school. Sweet KT helps out as much as he can when he is asked to look for shoes, toys, etc for his brothers. Rarely does he complain but simply says "yes" and does it. I don' t know that I could be that selfless if I were in his shoes.

A became a part of our family in September 2004. At birth he aspirated some fluids and spent a week in NICU. A was born with Aniridia which by definition is the "Congenital absence of all but the root of the iris." A's eyes look like they are always dilated. He is very light sensitive. A reacted to glasses completely differently from Z. Just this past year he has realized how helpful they are to him and actually keeps them on all day. Last year A attended his first year of preschool at USDB. He is not in his second year. At A's IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting at the end of the school year last year we were encouraged to mainstream him. Although we were told this would be our decision it sure felt like we were being pushed out. We consented and enrolled A in preschool at a public school just for the afternoon class.

At the beginning of the year we felt very uneasy about A being mainstreamed. We spoke with is new teacher at USDB who was new to the school and not a part of the IEP last year. She felt confident that there was not a need for A to be mainstreamed this year. If necessary he could be moved up to the next class because he was doing so well academically. So for now, that's where we are. A is attending preschool at USDB full time and loving every day.

Finally in March 2006 B was born. B wanted to come early. I had never really experienced contractions due to being induced with Z and immediately given an epidoral and then having to have an emergency c-seciton. I had c-sections with all of the boys. At 36 weeks B wanted out. B gave the opportunity to experience those contractions. However, being early he wasn't quite developed. His lungs needed more time so he spent several days in NICU.

B was born with congenital cataracts as well as a form of aniridia. His vision is the worst. Just like his brothers, he has adapted and gets around without too much difficulty. He will be receiving his glasses any day and we are hoping he keeps them on and realizes how much more he can see with them.

Although we struggle with education for our children and the lack of resources there are out there for them right now, we must remember that we have been blessed. I remind myself often that we have been given the opportunity to raise these children and are charged with the responsibilty to teach them well. I also must remember that I truly believe that we are not expected to deal with more than we have the strength to handle. I am humbled that I have been entrusted with these precious souls and blessed that I am able to learn so much from KD and the boys.